Jai Ho

...may victory be yours  :D

I'm in such good spirits right now.  I made $70 in tips tonight and I start phlebotomy class tomorrow!  I'm super excited for this class.  I love learning about the body and its function, so I hope this class will be saweeet.

Spring is hopefully here for good.  I need that sunshine when I walk to class and drive to work.  I want it to be warm so I can be free from coats!

Only 4 more weeks of classes..

Summer, here I come!

friend?

chicks before dicks.

that should be my life motto because a friend with a boyfriend will ditch you at least once for the boy.

friends are never going to leave you like boys will, even if you have ditched them.

BUT

date a guy that really hurt me,

you're no friend of mine.

Lately The Weather Has Been So Bipolar and Consequently So Have I..

I'm back into the swing of things, I think.  Spring Break was fun and Texas is pretty neat!  I miss the warm weather there, and the smaller amounts of WIND.  There's nothing like Nebraska weather - blizzards in the West and tornados in the East.  Very bipolar, like I'm starting to think I am.  

No matter what I do, I keep thinking about my life and relationships, or lack there of.  It's kind of funny when people don't believe me when I say I've never had a boyfriend and I'm pretty hopeless at this point.  I keep wondering what's so wrong with me, what makes me so undesirable?  Such a baffling question... sometimes, I think I'm alright and other times, I just hate myself.  Then I always question my social life - like I've written about before, am I even in the right place to find what I'm looking for?  I'm in this never-ending quest to find someone to love me for who I am and all that nonsense.  My attempts are futile.  Something else that's puzzling is the girls that have so many interested boys, yet they shrug them off for some reason or another.  If only I could be wanted like that.  I don't want to be like those girls, I somewhat like how I am, but I want to be wanted too.  Is that too much to ask for?

...sigh

9:02 A.M.

I'm finally in Texas, and the trip did not come without some interesting and pretty cool moments...
A recap:

We left from Lincoln around 2:30 yesterday shooting for Oklahoma City, OK to stay the night. It was around a 6-7 hour drive, so lots of being in a car with 5 people don't even know that well. It was pretty fun. The plan was to stay in a church in Ok City and a lady was supposed to let us in... well she doesn't like her cell phone apparently so we made a trip to the memorial...

"On April 19, 1995, at 9:02 a.m., a bomb exploded just 100 yards east of here..." were the first words I read when we got to the memorial... It was dark, quiet, and chilly. Almost eerie. Walking through the gate of time, 9:01, a scene opens up and sends shivers down your spine. It was beautful. There's a feild of 168 empty chairs stood to symbolize the people who lost their lives that day, 19 of the chairs were small, for the children. The chairs were arranged in 9 rows for each of the building's floors. A reflection pond stretched between 9:01 and 9:03 am. Across from the rows of chairs stands strong, the survivor tree. Across the street where a parish once stood was a statue of Jesus... "As Jesus Weeps". A story about Jesus mourning the loss of his friend in the destruction of Jerusalum. In Oklahoma City, Jesus turns away from the destruction and weeps in front of the a granite wall with 9 rows of blocks. This was like nothing I've ever experienced before, the serenity of the place, the meaning behind everything, was overwhelming. I went off on my own to capture the beauty of this memorial with my camera. I took so many pictures... I'll always remember visiting the memorial. It was aboslutely breathtaking.

After our trip to the memorial, we slept in vans in the church parking lot for a couple hours and hit the road again at around 3:30 am. We're all so tired, and hopefully we'll get enough rest to get out on the water tomorrow and ROW!

homesick.

i want to go home.  i miss it.  even though my mommy was here last weekend, I still want to go home so bad.  there's peace and quiet at home.  somewhere you can fully relax and let everything go...

i miss my house, i miss my room, i miss mommy and her food, i miss all of my friends, i miss last year.   i wanna go back in time.  to relive my life last year.  that was such a good year.

aiw;ejf;aoweij;oij.   this is so frustrating.  i don't want to be out on my own.  i don't want to grow up.  FREEZE.  i want it to stay like this.  i don't want to lose anyone i love.  stay right here, stay this way.

please take me back.  rewind.

Boy OH Boy

So much has been happening lately!  I just want everything to slooooow doooowwwn.  Mom's Day was Saturday so my mommy came to visit and it was so good to see her.  I miss her way too much.  Hanging out with Johnna, Ben, and Lesley is always fun too!  The Raiders will be playing in the State Tourney on Thursday, and Fiesta Feed is that night as well!  I definitely need a break, and thank goodness spring break starts Friday!  NU Crew is going to Austin, Texas for break!  I'm so excited!  We're heading to Oklahoma City on Friday, then down to Austin on Saturday!  We'll be gone for a whole 8 days!  We get to be just out on the water, doing our rowin thang.  I can't wait!  School is just really getting on my nerves!  And of course, I have two tests and one paper due the week we get back!  LAME!  

In other news,  I'm getting a macbook, because they're sweet and I won't have my iMac for about a year.. SAD.  I'll miss it, but I get it back so I'll have TWO macs.  I'm just rolling in the technology.  There's not a whole lot else that's been going on besides work and practice.

Ciao

Even Slumdogs Win

I'm in a happy mood, even though there's snow on the ground.  Again, after we have 60+ degree weather in the same week.  Anyway, I just saw Slumdog Millionaire, you know, the movie that won eight Oscars!  It was pretty incredible.  Such an amazing story...  In the end all that mattered was love :D  How cute.  It was destiny.  What is that anyway?  I wonder if I was ever destined to be with someone like they were.   hmmm...   I guess I'll never know 'till it happens.