Lately The Weather Has Been So Bipolar and Consequently So Have I..

I'm back into the swing of things, I think.  Spring Break was fun and Texas is pretty neat!  I miss the warm weather there, and the smaller amounts of WIND.  There's nothing like Nebraska weather - blizzards in the West and tornados in the East.  Very bipolar, like I'm starting to think I am.  

No matter what I do, I keep thinking about my life and relationships, or lack there of.  It's kind of funny when people don't believe me when I say I've never had a boyfriend and I'm pretty hopeless at this point.  I keep wondering what's so wrong with me, what makes me so undesirable?  Such a baffling question... sometimes, I think I'm alright and other times, I just hate myself.  Then I always question my social life - like I've written about before, am I even in the right place to find what I'm looking for?  I'm in this never-ending quest to find someone to love me for who I am and all that nonsense.  My attempts are futile.  Something else that's puzzling is the girls that have so many interested boys, yet they shrug them off for some reason or another.  If only I could be wanted like that.  I don't want to be like those girls, I somewhat like how I am, but I want to be wanted too.  Is that too much to ask for?

...sigh